What Makes Us, Us?

Welcome back! This week I’d like to talk about a more serious topic, and that is: gender. What makes us, us? What makes a girl more likely to go towards a Barbie in a group of toys? What makes boys more likely to involve in physical play and sports? Let’s take a look at some factors.

First of all, let’s take a look at the science portion of what we know. Science has shown us that men’s brains have more grey matter, which means that they think more in a static way and they separate their issues into different compartments. Women’s brains have more white matter. This means they have more neural connections, assisting the brain with understanding interpersonal issues better. Unlike the men who simply organize their thoughts into different categories, women are more likely to intertwine all of the thoughts and how they connect with each other.  Here’s a link to a Youtube video to explain this in a better (and funnier) way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk

            In class, we made an interesting chart noting the obvious differences between male and females. For this post, I’ll make a list. Females tend to show a more “chill” response to situations, they engage in social and cooperative play, they practice verbal skills earlier as babies, they tend to get more stressed and overwhelmed, and they are overall more emotional. Men on the other hand, are more aggressive, they have a greater chance of getting startled as babies, they start crawling earlier, they engage in more anti-social and physical play, they are more competitive, not as verbal, and they are more task-oriented. Now that was a long list, so what does this all mean?

            Some parents have decided to be “gender neutral.” Which means that they raise their children to play with toys that are not specific for either boy or girl. They speak openly about genders and let the child choose how he or she wants to act. If a boy wants to wear a dress to the store, they let them. If a girl would rather play with toy trucks over a make up kit they have no problem with that. This is a very touchy subject, but my personal opinion is that we were born to live and grow with a certain gender. We have a specific DNA make up and hormones that are meant to entice us to act in a certain way, whether that’s more girly, or more boyish.

            In my LDS views, I believe that in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we are told that gender is eternal and essential. We were meant to have certain desires that work with our gender. Mothers are to be more nurturing to the children, and fathers are to preside, protect, and provide for their families. If you’d like to learn more about this view, you can visit this link to LDS.org. https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true

            So what happens if someone doesn’t feel comfortable in their own body and gender? In class we talked about this idea called Gender Dysphoria. It is very rare, but it’s the feeling of not feeling like you are the gender that you are. You’ll hear a boy say, “I’m not who I feel I am. I don’t feel like a boy.” And vice versa with girls. This usually sprouts from early social experiences, and it’s very apparent when the child is bullied from a young age. A boy may grow up thinking that he should be a girl instead because he doesn’t feel like he fits in with the boys at his school. A girl may feel like she should be a boy instead because she loves to play sports rather than do her make up or go shopping at the mall. The thing is, we are all unique and it’s totally okay to do things that boys or girls do that aren’t typically for your gender. It’s the way that you view yourself overall is what matters. Many people, especially within the last 10 years are showing more and more signs of same-gender attraction. This means that you are romantically interested in your same gender. Many people that struggle with these feelings have usually been molested at a young age, and there have been studies that only 4 months after that occurrence, have decided they were attracted to their same gender. It’s interesting to me that this is happening more and more in these days.

            Over all, I think it’s so important to treat everyone with love, respect, and kindness, regardless of their gender. It is not our place to judge those who have chosen different paths than us. The best thing we can do is to offer them our love and to continue being there for them. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, it simply means you love them.